Life’s no Barfi!

Getting bored while reading your own blog post from some time back- yes, that’s what just happened. And I guess that’s one of the worst thing that can ever happen to somebody who thinks she writes decently well. Every time I think of writing something, I end up having the same monotonous tone with almost the same monotonous things to talk about. It’s not like I don’t have anything to say about the latest movie I saw or about the awesome mushroom garlic I had the other day. But I somehow feel there’s nothing different that I would say while I am at it.

Having said that I do not discuss my views generally, I’d like to say that just like anybody else, I too, was moved by Barfi. I guess I have a soft corner for cinema like this. Be it Back or Iqbaal or Guzaarish for that matter- I was moved by each one of them. I believe you require a tremendous amount of sensitivity to understand and portray a subject like that and I honestly would respect the director for that! Knowing that quite a few of scenes from Barfi are imitations, I would still like to give Anurag Basu the credit for the impact the movie leaves the audience with.

I loved Barfi as much, and may be a little more than I can explain. I am not trying to take anything away from the movie but I just could not relate to Barfi’s character being so sooper cool and happy. He has loss of sound and speech, he lost his mother as soon as he was born and he doesn’t have the means to earn a lot of money. There’s certainly nothing wrong in being happy all the time, in fact, everybody should hold that virtue; but I was just wondering how could Barfi, as a character, be so cheerful!

I don’t really thank God for giving me the life that he has, but whenever I do, I do thank him for not giving me any other form of disability. I might not be able to run like others, but I at least have the ears to listen to good music, eyes to watch good cinema and the mind to analyse it. I cannot imagine myself not talking to any of my friends or not watching movies. But, that’s not how it works. I guess when God gives you any challenge, he gives you the strength to sail through it as well. Again, having said that, I kept wondering, how can Barfi as a character, be so content despite his given circumstances?

Barfi’s character can be attributed to the difference between reel and real. But on the contrary, the movie very aptly highlights the fact that most parents of the so called ‘normal’ kids cannot picture their children settling down with somebody who is ‘physically disabled’, just because of their apparent incapability! Like, really? If a marriage was to survive on physical capability,  then most divorces between non-disabled couples wouldn’t have taken place!

We all watched Barfi! And we all loved him so much because he was this happy-go-lucky, boy next door, whom we all want to know. Somewhere, deep down, we all want to be like him- happy, content and a go getter. But how many of us can really manage to keep this positivity for one day or even an hour? While I was at this thought, I realised the beauty of the character of Barfi. To put it straight, Barfi was deaf and mute, and that’s what kept the guy going! He made this world of his own- a world of his own beliefs and his own ideologies. So, if Barfi believed that the world is made up of angels, he did not discuss this with anybody and so, he did not have a stranger ‘tell’ him that the world was there to eat him up! And if Barfi believed he could make a charmingly gorgeous Shruti fall in love with him, he didn’t have his friend ‘tell’ him that a non-disabled girl is not going to accept his proposal. I am not underestimating the power of sign language here, but I hope I am able to make the point I want to make.

My mom and I, we both loved the movie. I especially, decided to stay a little more positive than usual, after I watched the movie. I was at my regular physio therapy session the other day, when I got a random call from a random relative. He inquired if my mother accompanied me to the hospital and I politely answered no. “Oh my God, you’ve become more independent now! You’re going outdoors without your parents and that’s good……,” he went on. “Yes yes. When I was staying in a hostel for three years, I called my mother to give me a bath every morning,” is what I wanted to say, but had to end the conversation abruptly. Like whoever gave that person the right to assume stuff about me just because I am disabled! To top it all, I do not even remember the last time I met him.

So, my attempt at staying positive obviously did not last for long and will not, till the time I am not able to turn a deaf ear to all that that’s being assumed and spoken about me. That’s what I meant when I was referring to the beauty of Barfi. He did what he wanted to, without letting others’ perceptions affect him!

It becomes so difficult for all of us to turn a deaf ear to the negativity around us, but we got to learn to live with it. I especially become more touchy about stuff being said about my disability. There is so much that I want to do or I can do, but everything boils down to my disability. I desperately want to turn a deaf ear to all of that and hope to become more patient by the day.

 For the time being, I can do with hitting the other person  hard with my crutch!

10 thoughts on “Life’s no Barfi!

  1. icely written sweta….two points I would like to add in here….

    1.Movies like black,khamoshi,iQbal nd guzaarish were evoked sympthy from the audience nd showed the misery of the protagonist while in Barfi…it was all about loving the character and enjoy watching him be happy in all the situations.Agreed tht he cannot be influenced with negativity because of his special case but at the same time-he had been a fighter going through the non-acceptance by shruti,his dad;s treatment and subseQuent death and even taking responsibility of another differently abled being.

    2.We were taught tht dis-able/disability as a word should not be used at all.We should use it as differently able or specially challenged for the same.Hope you will agree with me on this.

    One Life-Stay Alive~

  2. @Swedooo- I have started thinking that maybe it’s not all that necessary to feel happy and cheerful all the time. I guess it’s alright to feel differently- it’s a part of everything else. And probably adds a lot of meaning to our existence. Makes us value what we have so much more. So, when I want to cry, I would never never hold myself back. Hug!

  3. written very well and i do agree with you; u cn nt b content and happy unless u turn a deaf ear n a blind eye to d world!and evn after deciding tat fr the umpteenth tym, we fail to do so as ppl n d surroundings in wich v live, do affect us. bt like alwaz, tym heals, at first even if a certain challenge intimidates us, after some time, it holds little or no relavance nor importance! i’v learnt it tat way! Stay blessed alwaz!

  4. It is important, what you are saying here about unfriendly event planning… because people like me have never known what you know… we are disabled that way.
    we should ponder on it… and you should leave it behind…. by being Barfii yourself!

  5. Hi Sweta …
    It’s true that Life’s no BARFI and BABU MOSAI(Anand) don’t seem practical in real world but it’s also true that world have witness people like Hellen Keller,Stephen Hawking, Ludwig van Beethoven , Jean-Dominique Bauby (Whose whole body movement was seized except eyelid and in that state also he wrote a book ). who have accomplished much more than barfi so just give a deaf ear to all those mentally ill people and keep doing great job what u r doing….i read all ur blogs and loved it and certailny u have inspired blogger inside me..ranbir

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