Monthly Archives: January 2010

Because..

At some point of time, the life of every person revolves around the thought of what others think of them. Somewhere in life, we all want to be individuals who will be accepted by the set of individuals who make the society. Man is a social being, and acceptance plays a vital role in everybody’s life. On the other hand, rejection and isolation can hamper the self esteem of anybody to quite an extent and how!

Most of my life, for some reason, was unconsciously spent in trying to be someone who would be easily accepted by the society, my peeps at school, graduation, otherwise, until today when I look back and smile at the tests fate has put me through. I never wanted to be somebody, but never got a chance to be myself too. Almost every person who I met during the course of life, taught me the lesson not to expect to live a life that every other individual did. I could be myself only with myself! They say, ‘Trials make a Jewel out of You’ and yes, I am a Diamond going through the final polishing stages.


Childhood was not as pleasant as it is meant to be. I cannot thank the Divine enough, for giving me such wonderful parents, who kept giving me their constant love and support, even when I told them that I am an adult and can handle myself. But again, the other set of individuals who make this society played an essential role in creating the not so pleasant memories of childhood. There never went a day in school when someone told me ‘You are not supposed to do this because…’ I tried to find answers to the because, and got them eventually, but life taught me the harder way.

The because, was a handicap, that was visible to the world unlike that of a ‘normal’ person’s that usually only he/she would know. The visible handicap, was so evident to the people around me, that they failed to recognize the strength of a twelve year old, who had the urge to live life the way she wanted to.
As a kid in school, I was always an extrovert who always wanted to go to the school ground to share lunch with her batch mates or to observe the P.T sessions. I was allowed to till primary school , until I reached the 5th and then the 7th standard, when I was expected to understand as to why I was not supposed to go to the playground. There came a point, where I started believing that I should not be doing what I am doing. My mind was conditioned not to think about going to the playground, not to think of leading an independent life, not to think of ever being with a guy who will always be with me.

Oh by the way, my parents enrolled me into a school with ‘normal’ kids, because that is what they perceived me to be and yeah, that is where the differentiation started. I am as normal as anybody to play a prank on my friends or throw a tantrum at my parents!. My folks never saw my visible shortcoming as a handicap; But sad it is, that people around me did and still do. But today, who really cares! I finally managed to solve my inner conflict of ‘To be or not to be’! I call my life story a road less traveled because of the unique way that I have written my life and beaten the worst by the best at every stage!

Life kept getting better with every passing year. What better way to celebrate twenty ten than being a few drinks down, with the bestest people life gifted me! (Missed you Teju) And here I am today, just a few months away from my ‘ Master of Bad Activities’ Degree, ready to shine and glitter, because I am a Diamond, meant to shine and glitter!
P.S : Thanks Riya for always standing by me in school!